DSM-IV

The following post will have me classified with a label from the DSM –IV, but that’s none of my business!

Last Thursday I was in an extremely good feeling place.
I was excited to be going to a bar to watch the soccer game between Trinidad & Tobago and England.
For one thing, I had never watched a game at a pub before, so that was cool in and of itself.

I am driving along with my good feeling self, enjoying the country road and looking forward to some shopping before the game.
I see a line of cars in the opposite direction heading my way, with all their headlamps on.
I think nothing of this, because my headlamps are also always on.

Before the cars passed me, I heard laughter and applause. Without missing a beat, I said out loud, “Yep, that’s how I feel too. Really happy today. I have a feeling we are going beat the pants off England.” More laughter and applause.

I begin to get Goosebumps or thrill bumps, the kind that means you are happy beyond your wildest dreams, and even happier than that. (Okay this is where I lose my self in trying to describe this experience in words. It sounds lame and nothing like I felt. Anyhow, I’ll carry on the best I can with words which really does not describe what happens next).

When the thrill bumps came, it was followed by a feeling of such rapture that I knew it was not about the ball game anymore. I had never experienced such joyous ecstasy before. Let’s just leave it, as there are no words to describe it. Just imagine the most awesome thing you have ever seen and multiply that by infinity and that’s the feeling I am trying to convey to you.

By this time the line of cars are close- up and about to pass me, in the opposite lane.
Heading the line of cars was a hearse.
At this point, the laugher and applause was deafening. I begin to laugh so hard, that tears were streaming down my face. More joyous than when I go to Caroline’s comedy club in New York. More joyous than any thing I have ever experienced. Some of the laughter was raucous. I said, “Okay, okay, you are so incredibly happy I know. Abraham said that, but I did not know what they meant, until now.” More deafening laughter and applause.

The drivers in other cars were so somber looking. I felt guilty to be laughing so hard with free-flowing tears. I could tell we in two totally different worlds.

I thought, if only they could know that all is well. Really know it like I do now.
At one point for a brief second I became really envious and I said, “I wish I could join you.” And I clearly heard, “It’s not your time yet.” As the physical gap between the funeral procession and my car widened, the laughter and applause subsided.
I did carry the joyous feeling for the rest of day, which appeared odd, considering that Trinidad and Tobago lost to England.